i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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