I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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