sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
