Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
