Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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