Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im holly from the hills drunk
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
