Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
