Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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(757): View more from Virginia

So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.

(712): View more from Iowa

Welcome to college.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".

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(+91): View more from India

I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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(816): View more from Missouri

Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window

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(513): View more from Ohio

Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(

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