So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
