Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
50% drunk capacity currently
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
