Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
