ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My feet surprised me
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