Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
