the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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