i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
birth control should be required to get into college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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