yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
