Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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