Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
