why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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