Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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