umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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