i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
