My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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