Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
