K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
