oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
