I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
