she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
