i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
