no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
