i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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