What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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