i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
