I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
