My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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