Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
