Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
