I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
