So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
