Screwed.edu
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
