Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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