he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
