no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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