I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
