How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
