Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize