Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
