She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
