Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
