We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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